Viewing entries tagged
spiritual discipline
When we’re shamefully attached to God, we may accept that God loves us because God has to, but we don’t believe God like us very much. We have internalized the idea that God naturally despises us and sees us primarily as sinners; Christ imputed his righteousness to us to make us slightly less deplorable. When we believe this, we assume we have to perpetually beat ourselves up to be on the same side of God.
It’s all too easy to think that giving ourselves what we deserve is self-care, and sometimes that is true. Yet, so often our problem is not that we have too little, but too much. The privilege we swim in turns blessings of provision into a numbing agent that blinds us to the outer world. We become enslaved to what is available to us, and we’re guided by our incessant hunger for more, denying the fact that we’re already so full.
Recently I have been sitting under the heavy weight of these confusing times - the pandemic disorienting our rhythms and the moments we take for granted, the mass exodus from church among young Christians, and more. It has caused me to feel despair, anger, and powerlessness to do much about it. Yet even as my mind spins in place out of frustration and my heart breaks from the weight of change, my soul is still seeking out the face of God.
